What a week of terrible lows and wonderful highs. How do you reconcile the two? How can I be so happy about one thing when the other is so sad?
Teresa’s dad passed away yesterday morning. He had been ill for a while, they think, and was in the hospital on a course of antibiotics when he died. Losing a father is such a terrible thing, no matter how old you are. You start thinking of the things that you’re going to miss out on now. Being “Daddy’s little girl.” Being walked down the aisle on your wedding day. The children you will have one day not knowing their grandfather. Seeing your mom go through the most intense emotional pain imaginable. It’s a terrible thing, and in the midst of all of these thoughts, you’re supposed to grieve.
Yet you find strength you never knew you had. You are no longer afraid of death. You will never feel alone again, because your dad is always with you. Yes, it’s a cliche, but it’s true – loved ones who die are always alive in your heart and in your memories. Even today, nearly six years after my dad died, I get choked up if I see something with his handwriting on it. I still miss him enormously, but I also still feel his presence. In a way, I’m lucky that he’s always with me. I wish George could have met him. I think they would have gotten along really well. I truly think that my dad had something to do with me meeting George. I know it sounds corny and weird, but it’s true. (Of course, my mom thought my dad sent me Truitt, and – blech – no way!)
So. Tomorrow is Tee’s dad’s funeral. I know I can’t do anything for her. I don’t even want to condescend to her and say “I know what you’re going through,” because I don’t. I have some idea, maybe. Perhaps more of an idea than many people. But all I can truly do is be there, or not be there, whatever she wants. As much as I’d like to, I can’t take away the pain, and I can’t ease it.
Naturally, I now feel like a complete heel for the good news. So I’ll just say it.
George and I were approved for a mortgage. We’re going to look at a house tomorrow. We could be homeowners one day! Probably later rather than sooner – the houses in the Point aren’t exactly cheap….