What matters right now

I have been thinking a lot this week. But not really posting. I’m so paranoid about being performative that I risk instead seeming uncaring to my Black friends. But really I’m trying to educate myself. Bought some books. Started reading and underlining the parts that I need to stick in my brain. Made some donations. Talking to the boys about the privilege we possess. Trying desperately to be learn how to be an anti-racist. Trying desperately not to do the wrong thing and accidentally hurt someone. Just writing this post seems self indulgent and I’m probably doing this all wrong.

But I just wanted to say something. To share where my heart is right now.

I’m reading this book.

Stocked up on summer reading for the boys with Monster and All-American Boys.

My coworker Kristine wrote this, it’s coming tomorrow.

I also did a ride on the Peloton this morning that is supposed to result in a $100 donation (for each person that rode today!) to the NAACP Legal Defense and Education fund.

Am I doing the right things? Doing enough? I don’t know. But I’ll keep my ears and my heart and my mind open.

One thought on “What matters right now

  1. >I’m so paranoid about being performative that I risk instead seeming uncaring to my Black friends
    This is the part that stops me in my tracks too. I’m starting to realize that what I really don’t want is to do it wrong. But if I’m not willing to do it wrong in public, I’ll never learn what I need to know to do it right. So it sucks, and I’ll make mistakes but I’m trying. Did I mention the “it sucks” part?

    Liked by 2 people

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