Author: Pam

Live in New Orleans. Married to George. Have identical triplet boys, born 12/4/07. Love to sew.

Book Review: The Rules of Inheritance

Losing a parent is hard. This I know. But losing two, when you’re an only child, is devastating. Claire Bidwell Smith lost both of her parents to cancer when she was a young woman, and her new memoir, The Rules of Inheritance, follows her through her life as she deals with these tragic losses. The book begins at the age of fourteen, when first her father, then her mother are diagnosed within weeks of one another.

The book is not chronological, but instead uses the five stages of grief to illustrate the emotional journey her parents’ deaths take her on: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She deals with her grief in self-destructive ways, via emotionally abusive boyfriends, drinking, and dropping out of school. It seems like it would be difficult to keep track of the narrative when you’re hopping back and forth in her timeline, but once you get a feel for what she was going through at each point in her life, it’s not too hard to follow along. And the book pulls you along, through those five stages. You know the last stage is coming, and the ending of the book does not disappoint.

As one might guess from the subject of this book, it’s not terribly uplifting. I had to read the book in small doses, just to keep from being too affected by it, but the compelling story and beautiful writing kept me coming back for more.

If you’ve read this memoir and want to talk about it (or go read it now so you can join in the discussion!), we’ll be discussing it over the next few weeks at the BlogHer Book Club.

This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

02/21/12

02/21/12 by pyjammy
02/21/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

Used my new camera remote to get a rare picture of me with the boys. I bribed them by letting them push the button. Hey, whatever works!

02/20/12

02/20/12 by pyjammy
02/20/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

Using my mom’s iPhone (and Instagram app) kinda makes me want to get an iPhone. Don’t tell George.

02/19/12

02/19/12 by pyjammy
02/19/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

Larry got the boys a fishing pole and showed them how to fish in the little pond in their backyard. This is Oliver here with him. The next day, Miles would catch one!

02/18/12

02/18/12 by pyjammy
02/18/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

I got the boys some magnifying glasses from the dollar store, and they were totally enthralled. Later, they had me make them journals, so they could "write" down their observations, just like Sid the Science Kid.

The first field trip!

Yesterday was the boys’ first school field trip. Yet another rite of passage! I volunteered to be a chaperone, and holy smokes, did it wear me out. I was assigned two kids to watch, two little girls, E and L. Somehow, having to look for two different faces seemed a million times more difficult than looking for one face, times three. And L was a runner, which I’m not really used to. I’d look away and next thing you know, she’d have her head in the lion’s mouth. {Not literally. But I looked there first.} But I loved talking to both of the girls, they were just so funny. In fact, I love talking to all of the 3 and 4 year olds in their class. What a great age!

So the field trip was to the zoo, and the day started by me bringing the boys to school and hanging out in their classroom and helping out a bit. Miles was convinced every time I moved a muscle that I was going to leave, so that was a little stressful. He threw a shitfit when I went to the adult’s bathroom. But soon enough, we were on our way to the bus! The boys were pretty good about staying with “their” adults, as long I remained in eyeshot.

Oliver getting his frog hat fitted:
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Circle time before we left:
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As far as the kids were concerned, I think we could have just taken a trip on the bus, because riding in a school bus with no suspension on New Orleans’s bumpy streets is the MOST FUN THING EVER. (When we got home from school, all they wanted to tell George about was the bus ride.)

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When we got to the zoo, we put the hats on they’d made, and each of the six classes performed a little song. Oh, my heart! Another first, the first school performance!

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Oh, you want video? Heh.

After the songs, we took the kids to have a snack and use the restroom. And after that was zoo time! We didn’t have time to see a ton of animals, but I was shocked at how much fun the boys had in the petting zoo portion. They’re terrified of most animals, but I guess goats aren’t too scary.

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Total ham child:
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And so, after being there for a few hours, we left.

And I was exhausted exhausted! I left (gratefully) to go back to work, and with a renewed respect for the teachers.

02/15/12

02/15/12 by pyjammy
02/15/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

Their first Fun Dips! (And can you believe I had to tell George how they worked?!? Where did he grow up?!? The moon?? Surely they have Fun Dip on the moon!)

02/14/12

02/14/12 by pyjammy
02/14/12, a photo by pyjammy on Flickr.

As much as I enjoyed the card that George got me, nothing can beat these glitter-filled constructions the boys came home from school with. Ack, my heart! (And I just love being "Maman"!)

02/13/12

Boy, are the other parents going to *hate* me.

So, I decided to do the ubiquitous lollipop picture for the boys’ valentines for their class. (The card says, “Be Our Valentine!” and those are their signatures underneath.) Note I did one picture for all three. Big mistake. Today I learned they’d be distributing their valentines to all of their friends, and with one card for all three, that’d be impossible.

So I ran to the grocery at lunch and got two more cheapo, candy-based sets of Valentines so that all three will be able to give Valentines to their friends.

That means every family will get five pieces of candy from us tomorrow. Ha!