Didn’t work out yesterday, as planned. Went home, cooked dinner for George. Got very sweaty and dirty in the process, much like workiing out. I made steaks in the new cast iron skillet I got him. Which is why my house smelled like fried grease the other night. I had to bake the pan in the oven for an hour after covering it with Crisco. Lovely.

After dinner, we went to the pub, where Robert and Terry and a bunch of their friends were. Was fun, Polly and Colin were there, Lindsay was working, we had cake, it was chocolate, yummy yummy yummy.

I came to the realization today (okay, actually, I realized it a long time ago, but now I’m panicking a little) that I’m hopelessly addicted to sugar. This is not good. It’s no wonder my teeth have been rotting out of my head, and it must be at least part of the reason why I can’t seem to lose any more weight. I know I could do something like Sugarbusters, but honestly, I’d rather die. Of course, that is just the addiction talking. Ha ha! So here is how my day usually begins:

Bagel (sometimes whole wheat, sometimes plain – isn’t white flour the same as sugar?) with either jam (sugar!) or cinnamon-sugar (sugar!) and orange juice (sugar!) and coffee with sweetened creamer (sugar!) and sugar (sugar!)

Ack. And my addiction to chocolate (sugar!) is well-documented. The only things I can say in my defense are that a) I drink Diet Coke and b) I chew sugarfree gum. The answer to all of this is definitely not this sugarfree chocolate I see in the stores. Ew. That is a travesty, unless you’re a diabetic, in which case, hey, it’s better than nothing. Which brings up my foremost fear – that eating all this sugar is going to cause me to become diabetic. Is this an old-wive’s tale, or does it really happen? I don’t know.

Maybe I should start off by having non-sweet breakfasts. I think that might help. I just crave sweet when I wake up. Unless I’m in a Denny’s or IHOP, I rarely feel like having a savory breakfast. But maybe I should start forcing myself. Something easy. Even if it’s just toast with a bit of butter. It’s hard for me to not put the jam on it. And I will stop with the sweetened creamer (actually, already have) and will have to bite the bullet and start putting artificial sweeteners in my coffee. I can do this…I can do this…

Note: If anyone seriously suggests I do Sugarbusters, I will bite.