Book Review: The Rules of Inheritance
Losing a parent is hard. This I know. But losing two, when you’re an only child, is devastating. Claire Bidwell Smith lost both of her parents to cancer when she was a young woman, and her new memoir, The Rules of Inheritance, follows her through her life as she deals with these tragic losses. The book begins at the age of fourteen, when first her father, then her mother are diagnosed within weeks of one another.
The book is not chronological, but instead uses the five stages of grief to illustrate the emotional journey her parents’ deaths take her on: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She deals with her grief in self-destructive ways, via emotionally abusive boyfriends, drinking, and dropping out of school. It seems like it would be difficult to keep track of the narrative when you’re hopping back and forth in her timeline, but once you get a feel for what she was going through at each point in her life, it’s not too hard to follow along. And the book pulls you along, through those five stages. You know the last stage is coming, and the ending of the book does not disappoint.
As one might guess from the subject of this book, it’s not terribly uplifting. I had to read the book in small doses, just to keep from being too affected by it, but the compelling story and beautiful writing kept me coming back for more.
If you’ve read this memoir and want to talk about it (or go read it now so you can join in the discussion!), we’ll be discussing it over the next few weeks at the BlogHer Book Club.
This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.
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The first field trip!
Yesterday was the boys’ first school field trip. Yet another rite of passage! I volunteered to be a chaperone, and holy smokes, did it wear me out. I was assigned two kids to watch, two little girls, E and L. Somehow, having to look for two different faces seemed a million times more difficult than looking for one face, times three. And L was a runner, which I’m not really used to. I’d look away and next thing you know, she’d have her head in the lion’s mouth. {Not literally. But I looked there first.} But I loved talking to both of the girls, they were just so funny. In fact, I love talking to all of the 3 and 4 year olds in their class. What a great age!
So the field trip was to the zoo, and the day started by me bringing the boys to school and hanging out in their classroom and helping out a bit. Miles was convinced every time I moved a muscle that I was going to leave, so that was a little stressful. He threw a shitfit when I went to the adult’s bathroom. But soon enough, we were on our way to the bus! The boys were pretty good about staying with “their” adults, as long I remained in eyeshot.
Oliver getting his frog hat fitted:
Circle time before we left:
As far as the kids were concerned, I think we could have just taken a trip on the bus, because riding in a school bus with no suspension on New Orleans’s bumpy streets is the MOST FUN THING EVER. (When we got home from school, all they wanted to tell George about was the bus ride.)
When we got to the zoo, we put the hats on they’d made, and each of the six classes performed a little song. Oh, my heart! Another first, the first school performance!
Oh, you want video? Heh.
After the songs, we took the kids to have a snack and use the restroom. And after that was zoo time! We didn’t have time to see a ton of animals, but I was shocked at how much fun the boys had in the petting zoo portion. They’re terrified of most animals, but I guess goats aren’t too scary.
Total ham child:
And so, after being there for a few hours, we left.
And I was exhausted exhausted! I left (gratefully) to go back to work, and with a renewed respect for the teachers.
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