Okay, I probably won’t be saying that to anyone at the race on the 31st. That’s true. In fact, I probably shouldn’t even call it a race. Let’s be honest. I’m going to be walking most of it (maybe running a minute every five, we’ll see) so it’s not like I’m going to be leaving much dust to be ingested by others. The only person I’ll be racing is the guy in the cop car at the end, to make sure he doesn’t run me over.

(A small aside: In 2006, I did a small half-marathon that I likewise didn’t train much for. I finished second-to-last. So I do have precedents here.)

That said, just in case anyone does happen to be behind me, I designed this shirt to explain my tortoise-like pace (and shape.)

That’s the back, get it? See? Anyone behind me will read it. Uh yeah. Good idea to be snarky to the three people behind you, Pam. It’ll just motivate them to catch up to you and trip you.

Oh well. It’s all in good fun.

Speaking of my race, I’m only $22 away from my goal of raising $500 for Children’s Hospital. Twenty-two bucks! It’s not too late to sponsor me….